This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us
except for the ones who are dead

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
And torn it pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
So I'm glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned
For the people that are still alive

Go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
Maybe Black Mesa
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist

Look at me still talking, when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
While you are dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I'll be still alive
STILL ALIVE
still alive

so i thought i would try that now. This site has really lost interest with me, but there are people who still use it, so i will make a small effort to maybe make a monthly update.

so i have become very busy in my life, school full time and freelance media being my source of income, i never get to sit and relax; except those few moments when i force myself to have time.

I have shut down my website in the time ive been gone, but ive been getting business anyways, so im not worried about it, but id like to start that page again. i dunno... i have a lot to focus on and dont really have the time to blog, but i thought id let you all know im still alive.

Five days left till the voting is closed on issue 18 of JPG... i could really use all of your help. please, take a second to look, tell me what you think, and vote.

http://jpgmag.com/photos/515725

http://jpgmag.com/photos/339608

http://jpgmag.com/photos/917614

the first is really the most important... most likely to make it.

thanks for all the love.

-Nick

So I am moving on the 30th/1st... and am starting to get excited on the prospects of a financially stable life again. its kind of neat, all the things i have to look forward to, and the changes i have and can make for the best. things keep looking better and better. work is going well, I have enough free time to get back into photography and web design. i have been getting out to local music and art shows lately... and spending more time with my brother; which is nice.

I have been pushing alot of unwanted people out of mylife, some harder to get rid of than others, but i have time to think and breathe again, which is a necesity- for my sanity and my happyness. I have been meeting tons of interesting people, makeing tons of friends, and getting back into touch with old friends. I ran into kate the other day... which was totally awesome- i didnt have time to stop and chat as much as id like, but we exchanged contact info... and i think it would be neat to start hunting down old contacts and friends from school... and on that subject, marie finally moved to a place with internet in buenos aries. she will be back at the end of the summer, but at least i can chat with her while she is gone now. its been almost half a year since we have talked; which is a shame.

the last thing id really like to change is id like to start going to school more, i need to finish my AA and jump into a real college or at least make use of the certifications i have for media. but that will come in time, first i need to settle down, plan money and time... and get my plan together.

JPG magazine sent me an email, requesting info regarding my photo submission... assuming they like what i sent, my photo is in..
magazine publishing credit... ill keep you all posted though

has been pretty good lately. I have been getting work done, moving, and in general- heading in the right direction.

sorry for my lack of web presence and not getting around to reading all of your updates, but i still love you all; ive just been so busy, cleaning, packing, work, play... the normal things. I have been making an effort to do what is good for me lately... not exactly in character i know- but i have been feeling much healthier, so i think its a good thing. 

I am moving before the 1st... still in beautiful santa monica- to an even more beautiful location even. near the beach... a star bucks accross the street.... like RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET... yeah, isnt that wonderful- and less than a block to everything i need.... less than a 15 min walk to work... if i stop to smell the roses even. close to my closest friends, and family too. 

Im getting back into gaming... ive been playing magic again, for the past couple months. start a new Dungeons and Dragons campeign on the 21st... been playing video games more, been socializing more. OH MAI GAWD i feel soo much better, my self confidance is back up, and i feel like im right where i should be for now.

ive moved past certain people who have been dragging me down and killing my mood, and hanging out with real friends ive been neglecting too long... 

work is going great... I feel more comfortable now, and i get along with all my co-workers great. ive gotten efficient enough at the more common repairs, to where 90% of my work day if open. and the social situation there is just right for me, i can talk to people when i want, and be reclusive when i feel. 

i probably wont update for a little while because i have been so busy... but feel free to get in touch with me if you want :D

http://www.jpgmag.com/photos/576364

so JPG mag's new issue is getting voted on in 15 days, i need those of you who havent voted for me yet to go do so please, and those of you who have, come by and show some more love :D

thanks everyone

Okay, so one of my favorite clothing companies does a photo contest every year, and I have entered the past two years. And the past two years I got an honorable mention, lets make this the year I actually get placed.

I need to produce three amazing and original images for them hopefully by the end of the week. anyone who wants a great picture of themselves and to possibly be published come talk to me.

I need at least three models, ill take more if I have time, but only three can be entered in the contest. this will be for trade, with limited rights, if entered and accepted the shot belongs to the company.

I need at least one MUA (makeup artists) but like always ill let anyone who wants to have a go. I may be willing to pay a kit fee, but we can talk about it... this is for trade as well. same limited rights as for the models.

I have never worked with a wardrobe stylist before, and would like to try to if there are any interested. willing to negotiate here as well, but same limited rights as everyone else.

www.crossroadstrading.com

So i finally went to go see that student art show that my prints were rejected from, and although i didnt get in the main gallery, 100% of my submitions were accepted to the second (digital) gallery. and my shot was the one being used for the cover of the DVD they were selling for the show... im actually kind of flatered now. i guess its not all bad.. but now i have some gallery exposure and i guess that the DVD and cover would be another publishing i can credit. 

neat, feeling much better now.
who wants to shoot? 

what now? by =Gothic-Ko on deviantART

      so today was the day to go find out what is hanging in the gallery. the way it works is, you submit five entries and a maximum of three get in... so I went back today expecting to pick up two or three pieces- they handed me back all five. I feel crushed, on the verge of tears... i put 30 hours into the shots and spent $300 dollars. And i was dismissed because my shot wasn't pretentious enough, or because the class I was taking this semester wasn't as relevant as someone else's.
     I feel so childish and helpless, i want to give up... or at least stop for a while... It is lame- i know. but this show meant a lot to me, and i am not getting in on technicalities and favoritism. Fuck this. I'm gonna do my own thing for a while, maybe disapear, and try to feel better about myself again.

    so I wasn't aware of this law until its appeal was denied, and im going to assume alot of you werent either.  when crossing a us border by any means you and your belongings are at risk of search, but what i didnt know was that this includes all electronic data. for example, your laptop, PDA, GPS, phone, or any other electronic devices contents may be searched, and you can be charged for any crimes related to your data; piracy, hacking, smuggling, pornography... anything.
http://www.dailybreeze.com/ci_9009312

  but even if you have nothing to hide, this can be traumatic- those pictures of you and your S.O. even though not contraband can be searched and so can your financial files, and anything... all those things you thought were private...and although this only applies to traveling out of country at the moment; it may open doors to even more personal privacy invasion.

if you are concerned about this at all, i suggest you write a letter to your senator.

http://feinstein.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=ContactUs.EmailMe

Vote on JPGMAG.com please

 http://www.jpgmag.com/photos/576364

it is for a chance to be published
thanks for all of you that help.

    I guess this is the part where I give up early enough to save some of my hope in hopes that i can use it later. I have finally come to the conclusion that I should stop caring so much about where I am in life now, and start focusing on ensuring there is a path for me leading to where i want to be. even if that means living with blinders on now. I think i am on the right track, I have been feeling better about myself lately- even though not much has changed.  I am being more social, and more assertive. I am working off my debt and oh so close to being debt free. I have been hanging out with dave and josh more who seem to be the people closest to me in interests and thoughts. I have been getting out more. and all in all being more active. I have quit the cast at the rocky horror picture show, but that doesn't mean im going to stop going, ill still be there, and you may even see more of me now that ill be free to wander and roam- i do love the cast, and id be happy to rejoin when a role closer to my choosing opens up.
   This past weekend i spent with dave, josh, and two new friends, shani and toni- which is awesome- particularly because i talked, and made eye-contact with strangers... i have good friends i cant physically look at for more than a moment before i am shy or intimidated. I'm starting to be a real boy, and i'm excited for what things may come. but for now, i need to just keep swimming. thank you everyone who has been here for me recently. i wont disapeare on you- i hope you wont fade away from me.. all of you.

// idiom 1
cop[0].goodInPercent = 100;
cop[1].goodInPercent = 0;

// idiom 2
isCrowd = personCounter >= 3;

// idiom 3
injury += insult;

// idiom 4
1: board.draw();
goto 1;

// idiom 5
if (bird[1].feather == bird[2].feather) {
    bird[1].flock(bird[2]);
}

// idiom 6
a = getThickness('blood');
b = getThickness('water');
assert(a > b);

// idiom 7
a_spade_a_spade();

// idiom 8
die(1000);
function die(max) {
    for (i = 1; i <= max; i++) {
        cut();
    }
}

// idiom 9
prey = 'worm';
time = getCurrentTime();
if (time >= 4 && time <= 8) {
    bird.catch(prey);
}

// idiom 10
while ( rome.fire() ) {
    doFiddle();
}

// idiom 11
function getValue(garbage) {
    return garbage;
}

// idiom 12
take(salt * .01);

// idiom 13
var here = false;
var there = false;

// idiom 14
if (i == 2) {
    tango();
}

// idiom 15
days = 365;
for (day = 1; day <= days; day++) {
    if ( random(0,100) <= 50 ) apple++;
}
if (apple <= days) doctor();

// idiom 16
if ( !dogs.sleep() ) {
    disturb(dogs);
}

// idiom 17
function tunnel() {
    var dark;
    for (i = 0; i < 10; i++) {
        dark = true;
    }
    dark = !dark;
    return dark;
}

// idiom 18
if ( ape.inLineOfSight(it.x, it.y) ) ape.do(it);

// idiom 19
return way.my || way.high;

// idiom 20
hay[ random(0, hay.length - 1) ] = 'needle';

// idiom 21
a = 0;
b = 1;
hand[a].wash(hand[b]);
hand[b].wash(hand[a]);

// idiom 22
function getGain(pain) {
    return pain >= 1;
}

// idiom 23
if (cooks >= 3) {
    broth = null;
}

// idiom 24
if (a != 'cake') a.eat();

// idiom 25
doesStand = you == me;

// idiom 26
var location = getLocation();
if (location == 'rome') {
    do( location.getCitizen() );
}

i am at work with nothing to do today... i have been on myspace for the past 5 hours... i mean i have some projects to work on, and I am- but it is the kind of work i can do in my sleep... so I am listening to Portishead and passing time. Going clubbing tonight- that should be fun; but other wise nothing interesting.

enjoy these VD inspired bashes.

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.


<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker


<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit


<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

okay... thats enough for now... happy VD everyone

okay... so im trying to help this guy order a part for his 20" iMac... ive been working on it for two weeks... the part is out of stock at apple so its a little hard to get a hold of...

so the customer complained to apple that it is taking too long, and  apple care made a huge stink at me... complaining about how i need to put an order in for the part i had an order in for. and i tried to tell them that I had an order in for it and that they were out of stock.. this took about 20 min... so the lady was like, " i dont like your attitude, im transfering you to one of my managers," and I was like, please do" so she did

and her manager took all the info on the case again...including apples specialty pantented make-the-service-techs-hate-you 32digit codes. and once all of that was done the manager was like "hmmm, i dont think we have that part" and put me on hold for half an hour while they checked... and when they came back, they where like "yeah, i couldnt find any info on it." can i have you call the product specialists in Kansas, here is their number and ther hours are 10-2 mon through friday, their time, which is like a 4 hour difference. WTF kind of service is that... and then i get to add another 32 digit code to the list for talking with them.

way to fucking go apple... everytime i talk with IBM problem is solved in 20 min or less.

FUCK YOU YOU SHINY WHITE DOUCHE

So im at work now... doing three data recoveries right now and the longest of the three is quoting me a 17 hour transfertime... so I am reading bash while "watching paint dry"

bash is a weblog that posts IRC clips....mostly nerd jokes.
so here you are... a bit of bash jokes... I may post more on a semi regular basis.

#23601 +(13057)- [X]
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

#261501 +(11295)- [X]
<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

#262353 +(10180)- [X]
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

#670375 +(10160)- [X]
<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

#406373 +(9012)- [X]<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

#608100 +(8385)- [X]
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER


and that is enough bash for now... hope you all liked it.. tons more where that cam from

-new job... starts tuesday- 17 r t3h r0x0|2
 
-21 on the 23

-13 months celibate 

-going back to school next semester


/fin

the new year started off with a bang- I am the happiest ive been in a long time. sore and tired, but with a smile.
to tired to post much more, but i wish everyone a great new year.

Neutral Evil Elf Sorcerer (10th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength- 12
Dexterity- 16
Constitution- 13
Intelligence- 20
Wisdom- 20
Charisma- 20
Alignment:
Neutral Evil- A neutral evil villain does whatever he can get away with. He is out for himself, pure and simple. He sheds no tears for those he kills, whether for profit, sport, or convenience. He has no love of order and holds no illusion that following laws, traditions, or codes would make him any better or more noble. On the other hand, he doesn�t have the restless nature or love of conflict that a chaotic evil villain has. Some neutral evil villains hold up evil as an ideal, committing evil for its own sake. Most often, such villains are devoted to evil deities or secret societies. Neutral evil is the best alignment you can be because you can advance yourself without regard for others. However, neutral evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents pure evil without honor and without variation.

Race:
Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.

Class:
Sorcerers- Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

  I splurged a little today... I bought myself a present for... well do I realy need a reason?
I have a very fun photo shoot coming up on sunday, one that if executed well could help to get me more recognition- It is with  client who has a fairly large fanbase and a style similar to my own. He requested over-exposed shots in the scene kid style: wide angle shots from odd angles. 

so what did I buy myself? a flash-  the speedlight 430 to be exact. And although I've only had it a couple of hours, I have gotten some good use out of it. It helps to round out my camera kit, I didnt have a flash before, nor have I used one; so this is a  good oportunity for me to round out my skills. I have gotten good at natural light shooting, using reflectors and such, but I still have a lot to learn in the way of strob, flash, and studio lighting. right now my studio lighting kit consists of four fivehundred watt hot worklights with two dollar defusers gafftaped on, which does the trick, but Im excited to find out what I can do with this new toy.

If any of you want to shoot with me let me know... 

www.gothic-ko.com

I am bored and have lots of free time right now.

I want to build on my photo portfolio... If you want to shoot soon let me know... free work.

www.gothic-ko.com

its a good offer... all you have to do is hang out with me.